I can't believe it's almost Christmas!

I'm amazed at how much faster each holiday comes one after another in my older years. It truly felt like FOREVR between holidays as a kid. Now I feel like every time I turn around I am staring down the barrel of the next holiday.

Well I am DONE shopping. I almost finished wrapping everything this weekend because the boys spent the night at their grandparents house last night. So Gunner and I went out on a nice dinner date and then we came home and he vegged out on the sofa while I wrapped presents until I ran out of wrapping paper.

I am not one of those parents who goes crazy at Christmas because 1- I can't afford to do that and 2- Our house is too small for so much junk and 3- If you get your kids everything they want then what can they save for themselves or look forward to getting for birthdays and all that.

I ask the boys what they really want most and we work from there. This year KJ wanted the Lego Dementions game for Xbox. So that was a pretty expensive thing so we got him that and a character for it. (Then of course he got the usual stocking stuffers: playdou, crayons, coloring book, spin toothbrush, and a box of Mike ans Ikes <his favorite candy).

For Rando he said he wanted he wanted a cash register like they have at preschool and the Minion movie. That of course was pretty cheap so I also got him a new yellow (his favorite color) full sized skateboard because the mini skateboard we have is getting too small for him and he's actually been using it alot so I thought he'd enjoy an upgrade. I also got him a one eyed minion helmet to wear while skateboarding. Also the usual stocking stuffers as KJ only instead of Mike and Ikes we got him a box of sweedish fish because those are his favorite.

Colty is Obsessed with the boys fleese blankets. He is always steeling and running off with Rando's Minion blanket which drives him crazy so KJ usually just gives him his Ninja Turtles one. So I got Colty a Paw Patrol  fleese blanket of his own. Now KJ can get his back. I also got him a few peg puzzles. Those unfortunately don't ever get handed down to the next brother because pieces get lost. He really doesnt need any toys since he has so many hand me downs but my boys LOVED balls at his age so we have a lot of ball related things. He likes them but he'd rather play with his brothers toy trucks. So we got him a  toddler friendly truck of his own. In his stocking he also got a coloring book because he does enjoy scribbling on the boys pictures and my grocery list every chance he gets. I also got him a pack of larger preschool crayons. Instead of playdou he got some sox and his favorite candy (A bag of M&Ms).

All and all I would say the boys are gonna have a good Christmas this year. A few days before Christmas I usually take the boys (older two) to either the dollar store or 5Below and I let them pick out something that they will be giving their other two brothers just from them. Each brother gets the others something special just from them and of course I pick what the baby will get the boys. This is a tradition that my mom always did with my brother and I and it gives the boys a joy in giving not just receiving. I love watching the boys wander around and look for "just the right thing" for each brother. Then we go home and I let them wrap them all up by themselves too (I usually just dispense tape). The only problem is they are so excited about giving their brother what they got for them it's hard for them to wait. So I try to make it as close to christmas as possible.

Only like 12 more days until Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Our Sweet Sweety

Our new dog Sweety has been with us for 2 whole weeks now. She is absolutely perfect for our family and for our other dog Weenie. She is much smaller then Pooh Bear was but she's a little bit bigger than Weenie. She is about 35 lbs. She is a 4 year old black and white terrier mix and she's got a cute little curly tail. She has the sweetest personally and she is so sweet and loving with the boys.

I saw her on a rescue sight when I first started looking at dogs but I didn't think Gunner would be all that interested because he kept saying that he wasn't ready to love a new dog yet. Weenie, ever since Pooh Bear passed, had horrible separation anxiety to the point that I couldn't leave him home alone for even the hour ot takes me to drop off and pick up the boys at school.  So I just started taking him with us in the car. That started out being good. He's just a mini doxie so it's not like he takes up a bunch of room. I would just stick him in his dog bed on the front seat. But as the weeks went on he started to freak out during the 5 minutes that I left him in the car to walk Rando up to preschool. Even if KJ sat in the car with him while I walked Rando to the door he would just howl and yelp and make such a big show thay everyone had to come and look in on him to see of he was okay and then with people looking at him he'd freak out all the more and start barking and howling and it was just awful and very embarrassing!

Gunner didn't have to deal with it so he had no idea what I was going through every day. Well one day it was raining so Gunner was home from work and I said "if you wouldn't mind I'd like to run and do my grocery shopping now before all the kids are out of school. Could you take Weenie and go pick up Rando from preschool today?" He was fine with thay but when I got home he looked mad. He said "Weenie was awful! He just started freaking out, I didn't know what to do. Is he like this all the time?" So after that whole experience he started to warm up to the idea of maybe getting another dog just for Weenie ' s sake.

So I started looking online again and I just kept coming back to the picture of Sweety (Her name WAS Cherry at the rescue). It said she was very sweet and that she had injured her leg a few months ago and her former owners just gave her up at the animal hospital. So they fixed up her leg (it's all good now, she just has a nasty looking scar) and then they handed her over to the rescue. The rescue had her for a few months but no one was even interested in her because she was 4 and because of her nasty looking scar (she licks it alot so even though it is healed all the licking makes it look raw and irritated). For me the fact that she was 4 was a bonus. Weenie is 8 and I don't think he could handle a puppy  full time right now and at 4 she is over the puppy stupids so I wouldn't have to worry about potty training or chewing things up (she does steal the boys stuffed animals but she doesn't chew them she just likes to walk around the house with them) and at 4 she wouldn't be as hyper and overwhelming for Weenie to deal with so I finally convinced Gunner to atleast come to the shelter and meet her.

We met her on a Monday.  The boys LOVED her from the start. Gunner just sat straight faced and didn't show any signs of caring at all. So we brought Weenie in to meet her (if he didn't like her there was no way we would have gotten her). He liked her from the start and they played together and had a good time. Again, Gunner just sat straight faced and just said "well I have no feelings for her but Weenie seems to like her so if you want you can fill out an application for her" so I did. Tuesday night I got a call from the shelter. They called my vet to make sure that my animals were taken care of regularly (we have a long haired cat too, her name is Fuzzy Lady) and they contacted our animal control to make sure we had no animal abuse charges or complaints or any of that. And we were approved so I was told I could come get her that Wednesday. The boys decided to name her Sweety because she was oh so sweet.

That was 2 weeks ago and it feels like we've had her for much longer then that. She fits in perfectly here. Weenie can now stay home because he has her. They play together alot because they are more the same size then him and Pooh Bear were so they are both losing a little weight (they are both fat) Because they run and play and wrestle alot. She is great with my boys. She puts up with Colty giving her hugs and big spitty kisses on her face. She plays hide and seek with Rando under the blankets and she sits calmly with KJ while he reads her lego books and shows her how to play games on the Kindle (as if she really cared). The day I went and picked her up she was a little nervous when we got home so she fallowed me around the whole time but when it was time for me to make dinner I close the baby gate to the kitchen to keep all children and animals out while I cook.  I guess Gunner felt bad for her because she sat at the gate so pitifully waiting for me to let her in that he called her over to the couch with him. While I cooked I heard him talking to her asking her if she thought she would like to be part of our family and how she needed to keep Weenie calm when we left the house. By the time I was done dinner and setting the table I could hear him telling her how pretty she was and how she had a lot of Pooh Bears qualities and he thought she was a good dog. So while I made dinner his heart had melted for her and he loves her. When I told him last week that she was officially ours for a week he even told me "You did a good job picking her out. She will never take the place of Pooh Bear but she's helping me to get over the lost of my little girl." (Gunner LOVED Pooh Bear like she was our first child. He loved her so much we had her cremated and he wants her ashes to be mixed with his when he dies because he thinks of her as his furry daughter). I think she is fast approaching "furry daughter" status because he loves to snuggle up with her on the couch and she lays right in the crook of his arm just like Pooh Bear did. She gives him kisses without being asked just like Pooh Bear did. I think she's going to end up being another Love of his life dog. He loves Weenie too but Weenie is just a "dog". He acts like a dog and is treated like a pet. Where as Pooh Bear was his "daughter". She acted like a child in a furry suit and like I said Sweety seems to be fast approaching "daughter" status.

So that's what is happening around here. Life is pretty good at the moment and I thank God that he guided me to the right dog for our family. As always, he knew best and make things turn out perfect in HIS time, not mine.

R.I.P Pooh Bear

On Friday, my big dog Pooh Bear passed away. She had just turned 12 in August so I had a feeling it was coming for about a week. She was always young and happy looking up until about a week ago. Then she suddenly looked OLD. Very very old. She started eating less and less and she just laid around and didnt want to do much. Friday morning she looked awful so I just knew that this was it for her. I made the boys all give her kisses and to tel her how great a dog she was before I tok them to school. I figured I would just take her to the vet to be put down when I got home from dropping the kids off at school. Sadly, she was already gone when I returned. I hate the fact that she passed alone (well my little dog was with her but there was no human home). I cried the rest of the morning until it was time to get Rando from preschool. She was a good dog. She was a protector and a great friend.

This morning it hit me how much I depend on her to feel safe here at home. While I was laying in bed this morning I heard something in the kitchen. Ususally if I heard suspicous noises I would send Pooh out to investigate. Of course, she would usually come back looking like "You sent me out there for nothing" but she always went out and did her patrol no matter how early in the morning or late at night it was. This morning I tried to get Weenie, my little dog, to go out and  patrol the situation and he looked at me like "Woman, cant you see I am sleeping here" and put his head down and went back to sleep.

I would really like to get another dog. Not to replace Pooh Bear because no dog could ever replace her but to add another dog to the house for secruity reasons. My own need to feel secure in my house when my husband isnt home.I told Gunner how I really didnt feel safe this morning beacuse Weenie wouldnt go out for a patrol and Gunner just said "Well I will just have to get you a gun then" WHAT!? I dont want a gun I want a dog. Knowing my luck he'd come in from work one day early and I'd shoot him thinking it was an intruder. NO THANKS!

I have decided to just wait it out for a little bit. I am going to just start saving the money that my brother gives me to sit over at his house and watch the girls for him the nights he works at the bar. Then, when Christmas rolls around I will hopefully have enough money to get the boys the presents I want to get them and enough left over to get a dog from a rescue shelter. I will tell Gunner that him letting me get the dog will be his present to me and then he wont have to get me anything for Christmas at all. I think that would be a pretty even exchange. We will see how it turns out. Maybe I will be lucky and God will place a new dog into our lives sooner. I will just have to pray and wait to see what God has in store for this family and the possability of a new dog.

Cool off and collect shells.

Sometimes when I feel completely over whlmed by everything going on. I have to take a break.

I am struggling deeply at the moment. we were given a few days of hope for my mothers diagnosis. That, of course, came shattering down at her last appointment. The doctor told her that the surgery they were going to schedule at the end of the month has now been called off. The radiation has not taken care of the cancer as much as they had originally hoped/thought. The cancer has progressed too much to get the surgery so they basically said they will just put her back on chemo and she will probably die on chemo. So I got that going on.

Then, I have willfulness and disobediance in my home. My children are absolutely rotten to the core this wholemonth. I dont understand what has happened there. The only thing I can think of that is happeneing that is different is both my older boys are at school now. I dont know why that would make them so bad but maybe they are acting out because they can not do what they want during the day now or something. It just doesnt make sense to me but I am trying to deal with it.

Due to the willful disobedience going on around me, my anger has become harder and harder to control. I feel like I am yelling at the boys all the time because they just wont listen and do what they are ask to do or do what they NEED to do. Its just making me crazy.

The tention has been building in our house. Im at my wits end with the children right now. I am scared of losing my mother and I feel like Im not getting any support or back up from my husband. So this weekend, I just took off. After we got home from KJ's soccer game. I made sure everyone got in and then I grabbed my Bible and I left. I went down to the local resivor that people go fishing at and I walked along the beach until I found a nice spot with some black eyed susans. I sat and read my Bible and enjoyed the beautiful view of the lake before me and it was just what I needed. I spent two hours their alone with my Bibleand then I went back, picked up my two oldest (Colty stayed home with Daddy because he was napping) and we walked the shore and collected sea shells and attempted to skip rocks. That hour and a half I had with my boys was great. we had fun together. It was relaxing and I didnt have to raise my vioce at all while we were there.

I think I need to start doing things like that more often. When I feel run down and need God the most I need to just GO. Be with him and the word and be in a place of great beauty. A place I can refresh and renew myself in the Lord. Almost like a Biblle retreat on my own. So thats my goal. Atleast once a week I'd like to just get out of the house alone and be with God. One day I may even get brave enough to just go and camp out all by myself over night. Just me and my Bible. I think that would be pretty awesome if I werent so afraid of the dark. :)

The Anniversary

Yesterday was Gunner and my 8 year wedding anniversary. We have been together for 19 years but have only been married the last 8.

Mom stopped by to give us a little money for our anniversary on her way home from Chemo and she had some good news. The radiation has gotten rid of the cancer in her lungs and its working its way through the breast cancer. So much so thst last Friday she had some dead tumors removed so that way they can do some more intensive radiation. She still has the cancer up her back bone but they are thinking that the chemo that she is on now while giving her skin time to heal from radiation burns may actually take care of that. So Mom might actually go into remission in 6-8 months. That would be so great! That would mean she would have gone from stage 4 cancer that they told us that she would not have more then 18 months - 2 years to a year later possably going into remission. That would be so great! So that was pretty much the best anniversary gift I could have gotten. I am continuing to pray that God will take care of this. He has gotten our family through so many hard times. I don'ot see why he couldn't get us through this one too.

Tomorrow, since it's Yom Kippur public school is off but Rando has school. So I am going to get KJ up and ready like i would any other day but I will just not drop him off at school. I like when we have a set rutine and on school nights we keep to it. When KJ knows we have no school he stays up late and steals snacks from the treat bin in the middle of the night. If I dont say anything to him until I pass by his school then that will be a super big surprise for him.

I have a super duper crafty friend who does her own maintaince on her house and can pick up an old piece of free furniture off the side of the road and make 2-3 pieces of awesome crafty furniture or decorative stuff. She has a very small kitchen just like I do and has very little counter space. Well, she made sink and stove covers that just go right over the sink and stove so she can have a little extra  counter space. I thought was total cool and I mentioned that I hated how poorly lit my kitchen was and the only place that got any light was the kitchen sink where the big window was. So she made me a sink cover and I have to say it is AWESOME! Its like a movable kitchen desk top. I keep it over the sink to work on projects and things like during the day and after lunch and dinner I move it onto the stove with all the stuff exactly where it is still on it. Then I can wash dishes and clean off the table and when i am all done, I move it back onto the sink and its as if it was always there. I LOVE IT! I wish I could be as crafty as her but God did not bless me with crafty or artsy skills. 

We had a back yard camp out this weekend. It went very well and the boys had a great time. Rando woke up around 3:30am and crawled into my sleeping back with me which forced me to sleep on my side the rest of the night but it was worth the aching back in the morning just getting that extra time to snuggle my big BIG boy.

Wow! It's been a long time!

I haven't been on here in a very LONG time. It surprised me how long it's been.

Now that Rando and KJ are in school (Rando goes from 9-12) I have a little time during the day where it's just me and baby Colty. So I am able to get things done such as this. So I'm hoping I will be more regular about keeping up on here.

I'm so thankful that summer is finally OVER! I had my 3 kids and my brother's 3 little girls who don't listen, who get into as much trouble and back talk all the time. With everyone in school I don't have to deal with them until there are school breaks and days off. That's better then every day all summer long. It's been a LONG and frustrating summer.

Well I gotta check on the baked beans I am making for a cook out that we are going to today. I rarely make my home made baked beans but when I do I made 2 crock pots full so that way I can bring a crock pot and leave a crock pot for us to eat all week :) YUM!

I'm getting on board!

I have been watching the girls from Blissful and Domestic and Five 4 Five Meals on their YouTube channels and reading their blogs a lot lately and they have been talking about the Nospenduary challenge. I'm totally down for a good challenge specially since it doesn't cost anything. :) 

I also like the idea of spring cleaning in January too so I think I'm gonna try and tackle the attic a little each day for the rest of the month. It's really cold up there now so it won't allow me to sweat and feel awful lugging boxes and such around. :) Thats an all around win win for me! 

What I have already put into action has been the cutting down of money spent on my husband's lunches for work. Instead of him buying 2-4 bottles of soda each day and buying lunch out because he says he can't eat a real "lunch" he just has to grab a bite and go. So I've been making him a gallon of iced tea to bring to work with him every day and then I have been making him pumpkin bread and things like that which are cheap to make but he can just grab a slice on his way between jobs and chow down while he drives. I've also been going through the freezer and I got a lot of meat in there that I keep thinking "I'll use this during the winter when my husband is working less due to bad weather and making smaller paychecks due to it". Well it's winter now! Perfect time to start working on the stuff in the freezer. ❄️⛄️❄️