Last night, we went to the carnival and Kory and Rando rode all the kiddie rides together. Rando was tall enough to go on the kiddie coaster so he was all excited because he could finally ride the dragon. When they got on there he was all smiles until it started and then it scared him. He wanted off right away. It was too fast for him and Kory put his arm around Rando and kept telling him "It's okay Rando. It will be over soon" He was a great big brother helping him on and off rides and when they were let into the ride gates Kory would hold Rando's hand so they wouldn't get seperated and Rando get trampled by other kids.
Then there are days like today. They faught all day long. They couldn't share well today. Rando kept yelling "you're not my bestfriend Kory!" They faught over what color plate they were gonna have at lunch. They faught over who got to sit on what side of the couch to watch their Lego movie. Kory even insisted that Rando had pooped in his pull up. When I asked Rando if there was poop in his pants he got all mad and said "No! Kory just saw me fart and didn't want to share the rocking chair with me anymore" haha (I had to explain that you can't see farts just hear and smell them haha) When it was time for them to go to bed I told them they had to sleep in their own beds because I didn't want to have to come in a million times and tell them to stop fighting. Then, I got called in there twice while they begged and pleaded for Rando to sleep in Kory's bed with him. After the second time of getting called back in there I just told them to just go ahead and share a bed because I didn't want to hear them yelling for me again but the first time they started fighting they'd go back to their own beds and that would be it for the night. I just peeked in on them and they were both snuggled up in Kory's bed watching a Veggy Tales movie on Netflix on my Kindle and giggling together.
I'm 8 months along as of Sunday. I am so big at this point that even my maternity shorts are tight and dig into me when I sit down. I am pretty much only comfortable wearing a tank top and a pair of Gunner's boxxers. Of course I can't leave the house like that so I have to change into shorts to go out but I avoid going out as much as possable because I am just too uncomfortable. Since I have seperated my pelvic bone and have to wear the brace around my hips I mostly just want to lay in my bed. That's really the only comfortable spot for me. He's also gotten so big that he's really starting to make my ribs ache from all the kicking. I can barely breath and lately I keep getting these panic type attacks. I'll do something small and it will make my heart race and I can't catch my breath which makes me panic and my heart beat faster. It's very unpleasant. I just can't wait until my baby Colton comes. I want to put an end to all this pain I'm going through and I can't wait to hold my fresh new baby boy. I'm hoping we can finish up the last bit of stuff that needs to be done in the nursery this weekend. Then, I can feel like we are 100% ready for Colton to come.
I have been having a nagging feeling that Colton could come early. This is exciting and very scary at the same time. It would be nice to get all this pain I'm in over with early but it's scary to me too because I really don't want Colton coming too early. It could just be wishful thinking because I'm in so much pain but I have had this nagging feeling for the past 1.5-2 months now. So I don't know what to expect. Saturday, I'm gonna try to get Gunner to get the bassinet out of the attick so I clean it and set it up next to my bed so that I can have it ready for Colton when he comes (early or not). Plus, it would motivate me to clean up and reorganize my book shelf next to my bed. At the moment I have a pile of books on my floor I've read but haven't gotten around to putting them back on the shelf because the shelf is too messy. I keep telling myself "I will reorganize and put away all these books next weekend" but then the weekends come and go and I'm busy or distracted from doing anything with it and the rest of the week I took at the pile of books on the floor and the messy book shelf and say "next weekend". If Gunner actually got the bassinet down it would force me to get on it or else the bassinet won't fit next to the bed.
God has really been helping me with my attitude for my mother inlaw lately. Usually she is overbearing and completely obsessed with every detail of my pregnancies. I have to hear her say over and over how "this better be your last one. You have the worst pregnancies. You can't do this to yourself again" that of course is the last thing I want to hear while I'm pregnant. EVERY pregnancy I tell her that I am willing to put myself through this because the reward of a child is soo much greater then the 10 months of horror it takes to get that child. This pregnancy was actually my easiest pregnancy until I seperated my pelvic bone. So I really don't want to hear her harp on me about how 1- I can't go through this anymore and 2- we don't have the money for anymore kids and it's not fair for me to do this to Gunner. Gunner is just as excited as I am about each of my boys. We know that if God has given us these blessings, God will help us find a way to provide for them. He always has and I have faith he always will. She has no real "faith". Infact while I was in the hospital having Rando 3 years ago she had some mystery fever illness and was in another hospital. When she finally got out and felt well enough to be taken here to meet Rando he was already 2.5 weeks old. She told me that while she was in the hospital and afraid she was going to die she prayed to her MOTHER, not God, and told her she couldn't die yet because she had grand babies she needed to be with. That just struck me as awful. How could anyone pray to their dead mother instead of God? I just couldn't understand it. Well, for the past 8 months she's given me absolute hell about this pregnancy. 1- this is too hard on me 2- we don't have the money for another child 3- this better be the last one because our house is too small for any more children ect, ect... Since I have seperated my pelvic bone and getting around is more of a hassle I have noticed she has left me alone more and more. She still calls and texts me the whole day on days she knows I'm going for a doctors appointment because she "needs to know what the doctor said". Which has been the same thing everytime I've gone since I seperated my pelvic bone (avoid lifting or carrying anything more the 10lbs, don't do anything strenuous, try to sit and relax as much as possable ect, ect...) but she doesn't call me all day evey day and nag and harp on me about how this better be my last pregnancy. This whole pregnancy I've struggled with my attitude. If I see her name pop up on my caller ID I'd usually instantly get into a funk and be annoyed the whole day no matter if I picked up the phone or not. I've been praying and begging God to help me with this absolute attitude of resentment when it comes to her (I have never shown her this openly. I have always been nice and pleasant to her out of respect for my husband). And ever since I seperated my pelvic bone it's like God said "I think she has enough to deal with" and has made her ease off me which in turn has made my attitude for her much less of a problem. Now when she texts or calls I don't have that instant funk come apon me. I just hope once Colton is born she doesn't get all crazy obsessed with calling and texting me every day all day long again. I can't deal with a new baby, two little boys, and her constant calling or texting.
