Here I Come 2014!!!

I can't believe today is the last day of 2013! Where has the year gone? I really feel like I haven't accomplished very much this year even though I've been extremely busy. It's like I've been too busy with crap to REALLY accomplish much. That's upsetting to me. How could I allow that? I feel like I've fallen off track somewhere. Since it's a new year I feel it's the perfect time to make a fresh start. 

Since I just got over being sick for the last 5 weeks, I've gained a little weight and I'm not happy about that. How can I expect The Lord to allow me to get pregnant in this body without having complications along the way. Nope! Not having that! Starting January 1st, I plan to go on Weight Watchers. Now that I can actually breath again I'm gonna go back to the gym and I'm gonna kick up my usual routine. I've gotten too comfortable with it. Time to make it harder. Even on the days idont go to the gym I plan to work on getting at the very least 30 mins of excersise each day (even if it's just a 30 minute walk down to let the boys see the cows at the farms at the end of our road. 

I'm gonna work on staying more God centered. Spending more time at home keeping my home the way it should be. Spending better quality time with my children. Not being distracted by thoughts of what I need to get done next but instead devoting some good personal time with my boys where I am completely and wholely present with them. In my quiet time I plan on reading a lot more scripture based books and devotionals. I'm going to also attempt to do the whole "Read the Bibke in a year" thing. We will see if I can get that done. I just want more quality time with my family and The Lord this year. That's the bottom line. I'm gonna spend more time at home with them rather then being distracted by things in the outside. My life should be centered around my home. I shouldn't always be trying to hurry out the door to go and do things away from the house. The more I do that the more it makes me want to except more and more responsibility outside the home which means I neglect more or rush through my responsibility at home and that's why I haven't accomplished much this year. I can't let it go on anymore. This is not the way my home should be run! So this year I'm gonna set it right!! :) Here I come 2014! Look out!! 

I'm working on it.

Sunday church was canceled due to the bad weather so I thought I'd run to the grocery store very quickly and be back before the bad weather started. Little did I know they store was packed causing me to be in the store for an hour. When I got out there was already 4 inches of snow on the ground. I thought, "it will be okay. I have 4 wheel drive" little did I know that something was wrong with it so it never engaged. 

I slid all over the road and eventually got stuck at the bottom of a hill. Usually, I would have freaked out and cried my eyes out. But this time all I did was pray and God kept me calm. My husband had of course lent his truck to his father so he had no way of getting me. This would have pushed me over the edge into hysterics on any other day but I just kept praying and  thanking The Lord for getting me home because I KNEW that God would get me home. My husband called a friend who lived close by and while I waited for him to come help me a young cowboy came in a HUGE jacked up truck and he attached my trail blazer to his truck with chains and pulled me to the top of the hill where I was able to make it back to the grocery store and leave my vehicle there. The friend picked me and my groceries up and took me home. Then took my husband back to the grocery store so he could take my trail blazer home. 

For most people, they would just be like "so what you got stuck in the snow. It happens. What's the big deal?" For me it was a big deal. I have come so far in the past year. This year I have pursued God so much more then I have ever in my entire Christian life. I saw the benefits of this year's journey on Sunday. I was stuck at the bottom of that hill for 2 and a half hours. During that time I didn't freak out once. I prayed and I thanked God in advance for getting me home because I KNEW God would. When I got home instead of being angry I just prayed and thanked God for that little test of patience that I passed because I trusted God and I KNEW he would take care of me. I have come soooooo far in the past year. I can see it now. I know I have soooo far to go still but I'm happy with how far God has gotten me already and I can't wait for the journey to continue. It's amazing how little things like this can turn out to be such blessings. 

9 Uses for Peroxide

I just learned about this but I think that toothbrushes are cheap enough its just better to replace them every month or two. It REALLY does work awesome for blood stains. I know that one for a fact. :)

1. Stain Remover

• Stubborn stains are no match for peroxide.
• It will take blood stains out of any fabric except silk and satin.
• It will also remove blow out poop stains from white onesies, high chair buckels, and exersaucer.

2. Bleach Alternative

• great way to brighten laundry.
• Use in prewash for heavily soiled laundry: Fill laundry, add detergent, 1 cup of peroxide, let it sit for 30 mins. Then run through the cycle.

3. General Disinfectant

• use it in a spray bottle for cleaning counters and tiles in kitchen and bathroom.
• use around the house  on everything from door knobs and light switches to toys and clothe diapers.

4. Oder Eliminator

• If your cat sprays the walls use Peroxide, baking soda, and water and it will kill the smell right away.

5. Hair Lightener

• it naturally lightens hair without sun

6. Fruit and Vegetable Cleaner

• place 3% peroxide in a spray bottle and full strength plain white or apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle.
• use a little on each piece of produce and then rinse with water

7. Ear wax Disolver

• A drop or two of peroxide for adults
• a small drop for babies

8. Toothbrush Sterilizer

• soak toothbrushes in peroxide for a few mins to kill bacteria
• or spray toothbrushes after each use

9. Teeth Whitener

• use a cap full and hold in your mouth and swish with it for up to five mins

Anxiety...... Fear not!

Philippians 4:6-9

Don't worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. And God's peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus. 

In conclusion, my friends, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable. Put into practice what you learned and received from me, both from my words from my actions. And the God who gives us peace wil be with you. - (Good News Bible)

When I read this today, it truly spoke to me. I have been sick all week and my mother inlaw will be coming to my Thanksgiving this year so I've been very anxiety ridden and stressed out. These verses were just what I needed to hear tonight. It was like God speaking directly to me, calming me, and letting me know that it's all going to be okay no matter how it turns out and no matter what happens. So I am feeling a lot better. By Thanksgiving, my sickness should hopefully be gone and I should be enjoying the second annual Thanksgiving dinner I am holding here. I refuse to allow anything to make me not enjoy it. :) 

Homeschooling

I never really thought of homeschooling as an option for our family because #1- we just can't afford to buy curriculum and pay homeschool legal fees and then once Rando is old enough it would be double the money. #2- KJ enjoys going to school because he's a very social little boy. We live out in the middle of no where so it's not like he has the opportunity to spend time with other kids except for Sundays when we go to church. #3- since we live out in the middle of no where the Elementry school is very tiny and I liked the smaller number of kids to a classroom ratio. And last but not least #4- I just don't think my kids would sit and do school work for me on a daily basis. It's hard enough getting KJ to sit at the table long enough to do his homework I don't think he'd want to sit and do school work for hours each day.

Last week was "observation" week at school. You were allowed to come and observe the class. I thought that was really cool because I would like to go and see how my child is learning every day. I noticed while I was there that KJ had a problem fallowing directions. Like if they were told to come to the reading rug he'd go but then just stand there until everyone one else sat down and the teacher would turn and say "sit down please". I thought that was weird but I thought maybe he thought he could get away with it because I was there or something. When they went off to music class I decided to leave then and just before I left his teacher pulled me aside to tell me that she was going to have a specialist in to observe KJ. She said he doesn't seem to ever realize that he is also part of the class. He has to be told to join them as if he doesn't think that her directions apply to him. She said she wanted the specialist to come and observe him and let her know if there was some way she could rearrange the classroom or a better way to talk to him so he feels included in the class. It made me feel like she thought he might have a learning disorder or something and couldn't fallow directions. It got me thinking about it and if it turns out he does have some sort of learning disorder I think he'd be better off at home where he'd get one on one attention. I guess we will have to see what the specialist says first but it's really got me thinking about the possibility of homeschooling. I don't know how we'd afford it or where I would even start, but if KJ has a learning disorder I want him to get the best chance he can to learn because a lot of learning disorders children can grow out of or master dealing with and possibility even return to school in later years. I just don't want him getting lost in the crowd and they pass him over without really dealing with it if he does have one. So that's been on my mind lately.

It's not so easy.....

I've been really struggling lately with my anger. I was raised to yell and make a lot of fuss when I was angry. My parents, their parents, everyone in both sides of the family are like that and that was just the norm for me. Now that I have children of my own, I see how it's effecting them. When they are angry or frustrated all they do is scream and yell and I decided about a year ago that I couldn't let this family legacy get passed on to them. Instead, I made a no yelling rule in this house. I have been doing pretty well with catching myself and stopping before I start to yell. When I have started to yell I've stopped myself and I've told my kids "I'm sorry I yelled. I shouldn't have done that. I know it's not nice to be yelled at" and they always say "it's okay mommy". That is the best way for me to show them that if they slip up and make a mistake that we need to be held accountable for it and ask for forgiveness.  Lately, I've been feeling very frustrated about everything. It's been hard to keep my anger in check as well. I feel like I'm always on the verge of yelling at someone. It's an awful feeling and I am not sure what is causing it.

God's Amazing Peace

It amazes me over and over how great God's peace is. As I've said before, I am trying to get pregnant but this time I've left it in God's hands. Since doing that I have felt GREAT! I don't have that awful anxiety and fear that I had when I was trying to have my boys. Well I struck me the other day. I got the stupid thought in my head, "Maybe God won't let me get pregnant again. Instead he took the desire out of my heart". I sat and thought about it and I said, "God, if you have taken the desire for a baby girl out of my heart will you give me a sign?"

The next day, I worried about not being pregnant all day. I had that same awful anxiety I had when I was trying to have the boys. Later that night, I was thinking about how I felt all day. I instantly thought, "Here it is! This is my sign that I still have the desire in my heart" I just felt awful due to the anxiety I had all day so I began to pray. I thanked God for the sign I asked for and then I just said I give this back over to you Lord and what do you know..... I got God's peace! The anxiety and fear I'd had in me all day was GONE. It was like someone had flipped a light switch and BAM the lights came on and the Lord's peace just filled every part of me. It was an amazing feeling. I instantly started praying  again and thanking him and praised him for his awesome blessing.

I've had this happen many times. I'll be upset about something and I'll cry out to the Lord. Every time he faithfully gives me that amazing peace and EVERY TIME I am amazed by it. It really put a fire under my butt to change the way I think and my attitude. I always have a stinking thinking attitude. Like, "This will never happen" or "I can't ever do this" and it gets me in a bad mood and it just sets everything into a downward motion. I need to start thinking, "God is going to let something good happen to me today"  I need to start getting up everyday and just looking for all of God's blessings no matter how small and just praising him all for them. God will bless me with joy and patience all day long if I believe and have faith that it will happen. God can only bless you as much as you allow him to. I need to stop getting stupid and just get with God.

Introduction...

I've had a few other blogs/online diaries over the years but I decided to make a clean start of it. I pretty much got rid of them all and here I am. Starting fresh.......

I'm a stay at home mother of two young little boys. KJ is 5 and Rando is 2. My husband Gunner and I have been married for 6 years now but we dated off and on since 9th grade (about 17years). I'm a Christian. I've come a great way in my relationship with God and even though I am not always "Christ centered" I'm working on it. 

I'm here to get my thoughts straight and to keep a record of everything that is going on in my life right now. It's not always exciting or great but it's life and one day I might want to look back and read about life when I was only 31 years old.