Selfishness just doesn't pay

This past year, I have to admit I was struggling a bit in my marriage. I had a selfish attitude. My husband gets to go out with friends all the time. He gets to go to gun shows and spend a few hundred dollars on a gun or two. He can go away for a weekend here and there with friends. I get to sit home with the kids 24/7. I get to spend $5 a week at the dollar store on pens and a sketch books. I get to beg for months for $25 for a new bra. I get to sit by myself at night with my sketch book and pens while he gets to do ANYTHING but spend time with me. So yes, I was resentful and angry and nagging. No wonder why he didn't want to spend any time with me!

In the past few months though I've really been asking God to help me with my life. I felt like the whole thing was pretty overwhelming and I just needed God's help to straighten it out. More and more God was showing me that it's not so much my life that was spinning out of control but more my attitude. My selfish "what about me?" attitude was preventing me from being happy. In my marriage especially. It was like a light turned on for me. Instead of being resentful and angry everytime Gunner gets to go out and have fun and go to the gun shows and all that I need to be happy for him. He works a very strenuous job to support us. He comes home sore and tired and has to get up the next day just as sore and tired and go back to work and lift things that weight more then him up on ladders 20-30 feet in the air ect... I should be happy that he gets to relax with friends and enjoy himself when he can. Instead of nagging and being angry that he spends no time with me I need to be happy with whatever time he gives me. I need to make that time we spend together good. I need to be sweet and loving and not only did that make our time more enjoyable for the both of us, but Gunner would come and spend more time with me and I wasn't even asking. He'd say things like "I should really go out and put all my tools away in the garage but I'd rather spend a little time with you before I do that". In the bedroom, I went out of my way to make it as pleasurable as possable for him. Instead of doing things all begrudgingly and thinking "I never get this in return!" I would make it my pleasure to do those things without him asking and put my full effort into it. In return, I've received wonderful pleasure. He desires me and thinks about me all day at work and when he gets a moment to himself he will call or he will text me that he is thinking about me and how badly he wished he was home with me at that moment. Usually he would only call or text during the day if he thought he had a reason to worry about me (like if I was sick). Now I get atleast one call a day and several text messages while he's at work. He also doesn't get snappy with me when I call in the afternoon to find out what time he might be home for dinner (I like to make dinner so he gets home and it's hot and ready at the table). Things have improved greatly just by changing my attitude.  

God always has the answers for me. :)