On a happier note, when we found out I was pregnant, Gunner was very worried about how we would be able to handle another child financially. I just kept telling him that if God gave us this blessing he would surely make a way for us to provide for it. Well, guess what!?! We got out answer. About 2 years ago we were doing good financially. We weren't well off but we had money for our bills and money to take care of things that came up. Then, the new management came into Gunner's office and hired their own guy to do all the big windows and doors jobs leaving Gunner to just be stuck with service calls for the windows and doors that the new guy did. When that happened Gunner's income drastically reduced leaving us just livig pay check to pay check. Well, the other day Gunner went in to work and they informed him that the other guy was no longer doing good work. Gunner is getting called out to do more and more repairs in the windows and doors that the other guy puts in now and they told Gunner that after this guy finishes up the jobs he's got lined up then all the windows and doors jobs would go to Gunner and the other guy would be moved to services. One of the bosses even told Gunner they weren't sure why they even bothered to hire the other guy because for the 15 years that Gunner has worked there he's only had people call for service 3 times on the jobs he's done. That's a great record! So we just have to wait until the other guy finishes up all his scheduled jobs and then Gunner will be getting the good paying jobs again. Hopefully we'll even be able to put a little money aside to pay off the hospital bill for my c-section in Septetmber much faster then it would normally take us.
I've been struggling with my emotions a lot lately too. Normally, I don't cry easy until I get to the 7 month mark. With this one, I've already begun and I'm only 10 weeks! I don't know how I'm going to stand myself for another 7 months. I cry just watching stupid commercials where a son saved his last Hershy Kiss for his father. I mean, come on! What is my problem! I am also finding it harder for me to deal with the children calmly. Every little squable and argument the boys get into just makes me so frustrated. I get upset and start thinking I'm this awful mother because my children don't like each other. It's an awful feeling. When I tell Gunner how I feel he just says "you're just pregnant. That's why you are thinking ridiculous thoughts like that" which doesn't make me feel any better. Why does he think of them as "ridiculous thoughts"? Is it ridiculous to worry that my children don't like each other or is it ridiculous that I think they don't like each other? I don't know. I just try not to let things get to me because I just can't handle too much anxiety right now or I make just break.
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